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The Culture of Philippines
"Mabuhay! Get to Know Filipino Culture
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And Filipinos are very curious -- you have to expect some staring when you pass locals...
Let me tell you a personal experience...
I brought my Norwegian boyfriend to the Philippines. We got a massage hour at our aunt's house. After 15 minutes of massaging, they asked my boyfriend:
"Oh, why do you have so blue eyes?" "How did you get a beautiful nose?"
My boyfriend didn't know what to say, while the others in the room were just laughing...!
And whenever we went out, local girls would turn heads and giggle. I even heard that they said: "Ooh, puti siya" (= Ooh, he's white).
Another time he went for a walk by himself. He came back and told me that a girl approached him and asked if he had a girlfriend.
But don't get me wrong, not all Filipinos are that welcoming. You still have to be aware of the possibility of getting scammed. The Philippines is still a country with a slow economy growth, and backpacking/tourism is one of its livelihoods. So someone will try to rip you off (if they can)!
As a foreigner traveling around the Philippines, you're not obliged to do the standard greeting between Filipinos, called "Mano" (= Ma-noo)
Doing the Mano in the culture of Philippines, is a way of showing respect. As with other Southeast Asian countries, there's a social hierarchy in the Filipino culture where the elderly people are on the top.
When you do the Mano, you grab the other person's hand and gently touch it against your forehead while you're bowing slightliy.
Filipinos usually do this when:
An example: If I meet one of my aunts (I'm currently 26), uncles, grandparents, god parents who are in fact old, I should perform the Mano.
If I met my buddy's uncle, I'm not obligated to do it because he's not related to me. I have an "uncle" in the Philippines who is 6 years older than me, but I don't need to do the Mano with him because we're considered as equals (because of the age).
Well, when you get married to a Filipino woman/man, you're then part of the family. You're usually obliged to do the Mano -- but this depends on how conservative/non-conservative the family is. If I were you, I would just do it, just to be on the safe side.
If you do the Mano even if it wasn't expected, the family will surely appreciate it!
I'm from the Philippines and I have Norwegian boyfriend. And I have a less conservative family than other Filipino families -- my parents haven't expected that my boyfriend would bow for them.
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There's no such thing as a lame joke among Filipinos.
What I've noticed though, is that the Filipinos I've talked to don't get sarcasm or don't have a sense of irony. They literally accept what you say, however you say it.
I personally don't understand their humor (partly because I grew up with irony and sarcasm), but growing up as a Filipina/Norwegian I can't resist the lame jokes my parents serve us every day...
... They're so lame that you have to laugh…!
Nope.
Filipinos these days learn English at school. So most Filipinos can understand English.
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In general...
... when you meet a Filipino, he/she will probably want to practice their English skills.
Mixed language?
When listening to Filipinos talking to each other, you might notice that they use both Spanish and English words.
This is not a coincidence -- it's part of the culture of Philippines.
The Philippines was a Spanish colony for over 300 years, and after that the Americans took over the islands and left a print in the Filipino language.
Like, when you're looking at your watch and want to say how much the time is. In Filipino, it would go like:
"Ala una (one o'clock), alas dos (two o'clock), alas tres (three o'clock), alas quatro (four o'clock)…" etc.
And as far as I know, there's no Filipino word for "butter" for example, so they just say the English word.
Is Tagalog the only language in the country?
Nope.
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But as I've understood it, there's a language/dialect for each region.
This makes sense.
My parents are from Pampanga so their language would be Kampangpangan.
When they talk with family and neighbours, they speak Kampangpangan. But when they meet friends who can only communicate with them on Tagalog (like my dad has a lot of friends from Manila), my parents use Tagalog.
So Tagalog is the language that ties the population, no matter where they are from in the Philippines.
As long as you can speak Tagalog, you can usually communicate with Filipinos -- it doesn't matter if they're from the south or the north!
I personally think that there are great differences between the various languages. I've met people from Mindanao and I don't understand a word they're saying! I can only recognize a couple of Tagalog-words, and that's about it!
They don't ask personal questions to intimidate you. But it's a way of starting a conversation. When you meet Filipinos, they can ask you questions like: "Are you married?" "Why aren't you married?" "What do you earn?"
These types of questions would usually turn heads, or aggravate people back home (in the Western world). But in the Philippines -- that's perfectly normal.
… except at the bathroom. As I said earlier, a Filipino family sticks together, and does things together.
I'll give you a real-life example:
When I visited the Philippines in Dec 2008/Jan 2009, I caught fever during the trip so I was forced to lie in a bed for 1,5 week. In the Western world, we would tend the sick person by bring food and drinks, and at the same time give them space.
Well, the food and drink part was OK. But there were several days when my cousins walked into the bedroom, and then asked me if I was asleep.
I barely had my eyes open and they started talking. I love my cousins for crying out loud, that's not the problem. The problem is that I didn't get any space!
Then it was Christmas and my fever was like 40 degrees, and they did the same thing again. And on top of this, a bunch of kids from the neighborhood ran into the room and jumped on the frigging bed, playing and screaming...
If they bring up the spirit of their deceased grandma in a conversation, don't be surprised!
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Avoiding shame is a golden rule in family matters. It's important for Filipinos to follow standard social rules.
Like, if you get pregnant before you get married, that would bring shame upon the family.
If you don't finish school, that would be a huge shame. What would the parents tell their relatives about how their son dropped out of school...?
This is probably the part of the culture of Philippines that I will never understand...
I've been to the Philippines three times and I haven't seen one Filipino who ate with their left hand. When I'm eating dinner with my parents here in Oslo, I sometimes forget to use my right hand.
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"Aaah, don't use that hand! It's considered dirty!!!"
The first question you'll likely get the second you get to the threshold is:
"Do you want some food?"
Food is important in the culture of Philippines and is considered as a social event.
It's a way of showing their great hospitality.
Don't be shocked or start wondering why they want to offer you free food. That's just how Filipinos are. It's part of the "we-share-everything" attitude.
So if you're offered food, don't say no. It's an insult to reject this kind of offer.
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Since the Filipinos are mainly Roman Catholics, their view on sex and relationships can be more conservative.
The majority of Filipinos believe that you shouldn't have sex before marriage, condoms shouldn't be used during sexual intercourse (hence, the overpopulation in the country :S) and that kissing is an intimitate act -- it shouldn't be shared with the rest of the world.
I would rather call it over-service… Whether you're Filipino or not you will experience the eagle-eye stalking in the stores.
Let me illustrate it for you:
We went shopping at the SM Mall in San Fernando in Pampanga province, and went inside a large shoe shop. There were probably dozens of employees there. I saw some cool shoes, and was thinking about how it would go with my clothing.
Before I could even start thinking there were two employees behind me, saying: "Yes miss, you like this?"
I turned around, and I almost screamed because they were so close. Every human being has a personal space which is usually one meter in radius -- they intruded that space by standing 50 centimeters from me…!
I was like: "No, no just looking. Thank you."
I continued around the store, and they kept walking after me. It was like they were waiting for me to stop at a certain point, so they could ask me again if I needed help.
They didn't just do this with me. They followed every customer in the store. It wasn't even an expensive shop -- it was an outlet!
Look for Philippines Culture Shock! (book) through Amazon.com or other books on Filipino culture. Philippines Culture Shock! is full of good information on their culture!
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